Nicer, smarter and better than you
For years we have heard about Americans’ low self-esteem. We’ve been told that many people don’t feel good about themselves – not about the way they look, about the work they do, or about how socially popular they are.
But research shows that most of us tend to think too much of ourselves and our abilities – rather than too little.
I don’t mean to make light of the importance of building self-confidence among children and young adults. And no one should doubt that a solid sense of our individual value is important to our mental health.
That said, it’s intriguing and funny to read about studies that show solid majorities of people think they are above average.
Science has even tagged this tendency: the superiority illusion.
It explains why University of London researchers found that 98 percent of us think we are among the nicest 50 percent of people.
It also explains why more than 90 percent of us think we’re among the most skilled drivers on the road, and why the majority of us think we’re smarter than average. The superiority illusion also is why most of us think we work harder and contribute more at work than almost all our co-workers.
Numerous studies indicate that our tendency to inflate our own abilities and talents is not just an American trait. In many instances, however, illusory superiority appears to be more pronounced among Americans than in other cultures.
It may also partially explain the political and cultural rifts evident in the U.S.
Democrats and Republicans strategists employ rhetoric to exploit our desire to perceive ourselves as better than our opponents.
Little time or effort is spent explaining ideas or arguing the benefits of a particular proposal.
Instead, political marketing is used to persuade the public that one side is smarter, nicer, more ethical and harder working than the other side.
That’s why political commercials and fliers don’t outline proposals or plans, but feature scary pictures of Nancy Pelosi or Donald Trump.
Whether you’re Republican or Democrat, the message is virtually the same: “Our side fights for good, hard-working, right-thinking people like you, while ‘they’ are out to destroy your way of life.”
By appealing to our vanity, the political marketers reinforce our illusions of superiority.
The true indicator of superiority, however, may be our willingness to examine our beliefs about ourselves and our parties.
Rather than automatically assume the worst about others, perhaps we would be served better by considering the possibility – however unlikely – that at least half of the people in the world are just as nice, just as smart and just as hard-working as we are.
Regardless of their political beliefs.
In our personal lives and exchanges, this is something we likely can admit is possible. Most of us have had co-workers, family members or friends who didn’t share our political views, but who we admired for their intelligence, their work ethic, or their compassion and generosity.
It’s true that an increasing number of Americans are choosing to isolate themselves from people who are different. They choose lives that shelter them from ideas and people who would challenge their value system. They choose their neighborhoods, churches, schools, friends, media and their working relationships based on whether people are like them.
It’s likely that illusions of superiority both feed this desire to be sheltered from challenges, and help the illusion grow stronger because challenges to the inflated sense of self disappear.
But it is an illusion. Much of our knowledge is attained when we expose ourselves to what is new and unfamiliar. That’s true both personally, professionally and as a society.
Only if we think that we may not be the smartest, nicest, hardest working people in America will we be willing to consider that other people – even those who don’t share our belief system – have something to teach us.
That doesn’t mean everyone’s ideas and proposals are equally intelligent or sound. It does mean we should stop assuming that our own are far superior merely because they are ours.